What is Beyond and Before the “I AM”?


If you let your curiosity grow freely, you may experience what happens without the consciousness of “I am” – what is beyond and before it.
In other words: what happens when the consciousness ignores the forms inside of it. Or we could say: we discover what happens to consciousness before you are born and after you die.

When you are in the state of pure consciousness, you feel-know it without thoughts that you exist, you are. You sense, feel and know that the observing consciousness examines itself and the world through you.

Then and only then you can say, know, feel that “you are”, if you have a body in which the “I exist” sensation thrives and through which you experience yourself. When consciousness does not manifest, only exists alone, then it does not know-feel that “I am”. This is why it needs to appear as forms, to recognize itself: the unmanifested, surpassing and preceding forms.

But what happens when you dive deeper in yourself, when you let go the consciousness of “I am”?
You do not insist on experiencing yourself and the world, but you are curious what is beyond the experience. You simply let go yourself and the observation of the world, the forms created in the space of consciousness and go even deeper in your true self: to somewhere where there may not be noticeable perception.
When you successfully let go the observing consciousness of the “I am”, the awakened perceiving of your world and yourself, then you get into a sort of dreamless sleep state.

You are not asleep, but you still miss the attention focused on yourself/on your world, you miss the contents created in the space of attention – just like in deep sleep, where there are no dreams. A peaceful, joyful calmness fills your body. You can discover that without the forms your true self is only a soulless emptiness, in which only the pure, absolute existence lives and nothing else.

When a thought, or an emotion stemming from a thought appears, it is acknowledged – during this there is an “I am” sensation-consciousness again, and then it is let go; it does not get tangled up, but it remains itself and in the state of emptiness, not insisting on being perceived. When your senses perceive something, it becomes alert and for this short period, the observing consciousness returns (and as I wrote earlier: with it comes back the consciousness of itself and the experiencing of the world), and in the breaks between the perceptions it returns into the blissful silence of emptiness.

This silence is after all different from what the everyday consciousness knows as term “silence”: this is not a dead, soundless silence, but a much deeper “something”: an emptiness that is just there, peaceful, interpretable, in the state of some sort of fine “heaven”.

Only this one peaceful emptiness exists, which is object-less, impersonal and what the Eastern religions and Western mystics identify as an impersonal God: infinite, eternal, beyond time and space, a peaceful, silent existence.

There is only this and nothing else – everything that exists was created inside of it. As soon as it opens up its perception for its materially existing “self” and the world, content is created, which is the sensation of itself and the world. Just like clouds appearing, morphing and disappearing on the empty blue sky. But then as the perception of its material body and the world is withdrawn, it gets lost in itself again: in the original state of pure emptiness, lacking any content.

The English language has a particularly perfect expression for this: “nothingness” (which means something that has no objects, it has no thing in it). Some spiritual movements call this the ultimate enlightenment – when existence returns to the pure Source of itself…

After all, this is what you are: the formless “Me”, beyond body, thoughts and emotions. A peaceful, silent presence, an existence, which becomes conscious as soon as any kind of form, content or sensation is created inside of it.

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The Author: Ervin K. Kery achieved mindfulness -the pure state of consciousness- after a sudden crash of the ego. Since then he is an enthusiast consciousness researcher, a mindfulness coach, spiritual writer and publisher. More about the author here..Check out the books published by the author here..You can subscribe to our free newsletter and updates here: